


Be My Thrill

by heyjupiter



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 14:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of ficlets based on the new X-Treme X-Men series by Greg Pak, in which Howlett (Logan) and Hercules are canonical boyfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be My Thrill

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/gifts).



> Dedicated to pocky-slash, who introduced me to X-Treme X-Men & also prompted all of these.
> 
> First story/collection title was a prompt to write a story based on the song title "Be my Thrill" by the Weepies.

Gods knew there were plenty of perjoratives one could rightly apply to James Howlett, but "vain" wasn't one of them. He knew what he was and what he wasn't. He **wasn't** especially handsome or especially smart. He **was** the former Governor-General of the Dominion of Canada, an exceptionally skilled fighter, and the lover of Hercules, no matter what anyone else thought. That had been true when their love was secret, it had been true when they were enduring punishment from the gods, it had been true when they were separated by dimensions, and it was true now that they were wrapping themselves in leather to do what they were meant to do, which was protect the weak and fight monsters.

No, Howlett wasn't vain, but he was perfectly aware that his immortal lover appreciated the way he looked in leather. He found Hercules' appreciation for his form just as thrilling as the adrenaline rush from battle. Then Hercules grabbed Howlett, as if he weighed nothing, and Howlett remembered that love could be even more thrilling than war.


	2. Tricky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the first line meme, for pocky-slash, who provided "Well. Getting out of this was going to prove to be tricky."
> 
> Also, it's a crossover with the famously terrible movie Troll 2, because why wouldn't it be.

_Well. Getting out of this was going to prove to be tricky,_ Howlett thought.

With his new adamantine bones, he should have been more than a match for anything that crossed his path. But part of the problem was that they were _too_ new and he had not quite adjusted to their new weight. He was slower than he had once been. Still, he was sure he could defeat these goblins, if he could just get to them.

He'd gone to the town of Nilbog after hearing strange reports from traders. As Governor-General of the Dominion of Canada, he really could have dispatched someone to investigate, but he liked to get away once in awhile. And if the remote community of Nilbog might also serve as a secret rendezvous point for his unlawful love... well. Howlett wouldn't complain.

But Hercules had been called back to his own realm, and now Howlett was alone, trapped in a huge swamp filled with popped corn. It would have been absurd if his damned skeleton weren't so heavy. He tried to calmly lie flat on his back, as if it were quicksand. But unlike quicksand, the popped corn kept coming, rising out of nowhere. The smell of it overwhelmed him, which was almost a relief--the rest of the town had the unpleasant odor of rotten vegetation. But he could hear the unsettling laughter of the creatures and knew he didn't have much time if he was going to save the peddler's children. He'd seen them, bound and being forcefed some disgusting green substance. He'd meant to take them by surprise, but he had been unprepared for this.

The popped corn continued to rise. Howlett was unsure how far it extended, but he decided he'd better not wait for it to multiply any further. He took a deep breath and started to run-swim through the corn as best he could. His lungs began to burn, but he could feel himself regenerate. He'd never tested to see how long, exactly, he could hold his breath, but he knew it was longer than a normal human. He hoped it would be long enough to get him out of this swamp of snacks.

He wasn't sure it would be--but then, at last, he found his feet on solid ground. He spit out some popped corn and took in a few deep breaths of air. It had the disgusting scent he'd come to associate with Nilbog, but it would still sustain him. Then, mingled with the scent of rotted vegetables and fear came another scent, one familiar and appealing.

"Hercules," Howlett said, turning to look up at his lover.

"James! It gives me joy to see you safe. I had wanted to come to your aid sooner, but I could not leave without attracting suspicion until this very moment!"

"You think I can't handle a little snack?" Howlett asked, mock-offended.

Hercules grinned. "Certainly you can, but why should you have all the fun?"

"Still more fun to be had. You wanna help me take down some vegetarian goblins?"

"Ha! Nothing could please me more! Well, perhaps one thing..."

"Goblins first. After that, well... I don't got any plans for the rest of the evening."


	3. Unbind Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a Tumblr meme, for pocky-slash, who requested "Unbind me." This is set between X-Treme X-Men #9 and #10. 
> 
> If you haven't read those, for reference all you really need to know is that #9 ended with Howlett & Hercules in leather ~~fetish gear~~ Orc disguises and #10 opens with them swimming and wearing much less clothing.

"I told you this was too tight," Howlett groused.

Hercules laughed, that deep booming laugh that Howlett hadn't heard in too long. He traced the leather straps of Howlett's orc costume with a finger, and Howlett could smell his arousal. "I have said this before, but truly, James, the look suits you."

Howlett twisted his head around to give his lover a mock-glare. "Well, if you help me take it off, then maybe I'll put it on again sometime. But if you don't undo that strap in the next 10 seconds, I don't think there will be much of it left." He popped his claws for emphasis.

"As you like," Hercules said. He unbuckled the straps of Howlett's garment and helped slide it off his flesh.

Howlett sighed with relief. Hercules made an appreciative sound. "I suppose you have your charms dressed like this, as well."

"Nice of you to notice. Let's get you out of yours, too. Ain't gonna be much fun to swim in."

Hercules smiled benevolently and let Howlett undress him. Howlett let his touch linger under the complicated straps, reveling in Hercules' presence. He'd seen Hercules like this in his dreams, but his dreams couldn't quite replicate the heat and smell of the demigod. Finally, he had undone all the buckles and peeled off all the extraneous layers of the orc costume. He admired Hercules frankly for a moment, then pulled his face down for a kiss. Hercules grabbed him tighter and the kiss dragged on.

Alison cleared her throat. "Guys, I'm super glad you've been reunited with your long-lost loves and all that, but this ship is not that big. Can you wait like five minutes until Sage finishes her sweep of this new world? Then I give my word that we can all jump right in that water we've been hovering over and you guys can go bone under a waterfall or whatever."

"A waterfall, you say?" Hercules asked.

"Five minutes?" Howlett asked.

Alison said, "Ish? Like, as soon as we're sure we're not going to be immediately attacked by an Evil Xavier. Safety first. Speaking of, do you guys even know about condoms?"

"About what now?" Howlett said.

"I guess... you probably don't need to worry about them," Alison said. "Seriously, forget I said anything." She coughed, looked around the ship, and said, "All right, team. Big, new, world out there!"

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Five Minutes (The Unbound Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/827557) by [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/pseuds/pocky_slash)




End file.
